Some of you may recall E-Verse’s top five poetry collections by celebrities. Let us not forget that Mr. Sheen, so beloved of popular news media (even as revolutions break out across the Arab world) also issued a slim volume of verse titled (presciently, one might think) A Peace of My Mind. GQ is only now catching up with E-Verse with this little article

on the subject. Since no copies are currently on the open market, we are pleased to present a selection of his poesy below. Enjoy!

“A Thoughtless Soul” by Charlie Sheen

As he pulled his head,
From the drool stained pillow,
His eyes blood red,
His oxygen shallow.

Feet on carpet,
That pain to fight,
These are the effects,
Of another night.

A night of drink,
A night of hate,
A night as dark,
As last nights date.

A look to the mirror,
No face of youth,
Self inflicted carnage,
A cracked and hollow tooth.

This punishment a vile choice,
So worthless, yet so bold.
Carving lines of disrespect,
This young lad growing old.

Yet masking truth and hiding pain,
Will surely take it’s toll,
Will he unto others, or to himself,
Remain a thoughtless soul?

···

“I.D. Blues” by Charlie Sheen

“Excuse me, aren’t you . . .?”
“Hey, you look just like . . .”
“Oh my God, that’s . . .”
“Sorry to interrupt your dinner, but aren’t you . . .”
“Look, I never do this, but, my wife thinks you’re . . .”
“My friend is so convinced that you’re . . .”
“I’m so embarrassed, but, aren’t you . . .?”
“I know you must be tired of this, but . . .”
“WAIT!!”
All eyes held in stare, all mouths locked open in shock, as he pulled the latex Charlie Sheen mask from his head, revealing the rotted skull of President Lincoln.

···

“Heretic Proof” by Charlie Sheen

Endive, undead, unbroken,
Unwed,
Relax, relate, rehab,
Drug addict,
Pursue, persuade, persist,
Per-petuate [sic] your own death
By smiling a lot.
Supply, succumb, deny—everything.
Always.
Turtle, android, pain.
Endeavor, endless, end.

P.S. Janonis.