“Surrounded by the soft pink flesh of / healing transformation”: Top Five Books of Celebrity Poetry
by Ernie on 08/03/11 at 9:28 am
They might not have much going for them as poets, but boy can they move units. I worked for News America Publishing, HarperCollins’ parent company, when Jewel’s book of poetry, Night Without Armor (the title really says it all) was published. The first printing in hardcover was 800,000 (for those who don’t know much about publishing, just trust me when I say this is an impressive first printing). Still, we can’t resist picking on them just a little bit. Here are five celebrity books of poetry, and some others who didn’t make the list but are absolutely essential to the topic. Let me know if I missed any notable examples. Enjoy.
5. Val Kilmer, My Edens After Burn (Blue Feather, 1988)
4. Jimmy Stewart, Jimmy Stewart and His Poems (Crown, 1989)
3. Leonard Nimoy, We Are All Children Searching for Love (Blue Mountain Arts, 1977)
2. Suzanne Somers, Touch Me (Nash Pub, 1973)
1. Jewel, Night Without Armor (HarperCollins, 1998)
Bonus: Ryan Adams, Infinity Blues (Akashic Books, 2009)
Really Big Bonus! Charles Sheen, A Peace of My Mind (Engram Digital, 1999)
Oh, but there are more.
Ally Sheedy, Yesterday I Saw the Sun (Summit, 1991)
Jack Palance, The Forest of Love: a Story in Verse (Summerhouse, 1996)
Some videos.
Kurt Loder talks to Jewel about her poetry, and things get a bit tense when he points out that she misuses some words. A classic!
Kristen Wiig reads from the “earlier poems” of Suzanne Somers.
Jewel reads from her book.
Ryan Adams reads “White Diamond”.
A transcript of the Kurt Loder vs. Jewel moment:
LODER: There’s a line you have, “There are nightmares on the sidewalks/there are jokes on TV/ there are people selling thoughtlessness with such casualty.” Casualty doesn’t mean that, does it? Casualty’s like a guy gets his arm blown off. I mean isn’t that . . .
JEWEL: That’s a type of casualty.
LODER: What?
JEWEL: It’s a type of casualty that . . .
LODER: No, really. I thought you were trying to say casualness.
JEWEL: No, casualty.
LODER: Oh, OK. All right. Are you a tech person? Do you take computers on the road, do you log on, e-mail?
JEWEL: No, I’m a bit archaic. I mean, I still write everything by hand. It’s quite archaic.
LODER: Wow.
JEWEL: It is wow. I’m dyslexic as heck. I mean, I just can’t type well.
LODER: Really? That’d be a problem for a writer.
JEWEL: It is a bit of problem. I mean, putting the book together. Everything was done by hand. I had to recopy it legibly to get it . . .
LODER: That explains casualty probably.
An excerpt from Ally Sheedy’s poem “I breathe a sigh of regret”:
I breathe a sigh of regret
for him
it is so painful
this letting go
dark wound in my heart
surrounded by the soft pink flesh of
healing transformation
An excerpt from “Teacher” by Charlie Sheen:
…Teacher, teacher, I don’t understand,
You tell me it’s like the back of my hand.
Should I play guitar and join the band?
Or head to the beach and walk in the sand?
Oh, teacher, teacher, I don’t understand…
… Teacher, teacher, the years have passed,
I never thought it would go so fast,
The things I learned they didn’t last.
I’m headin’ to sea as I raise the mast.
Oh, teacher, teacher, I’m a peace of your past.
Bethany
Jan 19th, 2010
How about Sarah Palin? Conan O’Brien thinks her tweets are poetry, and has William Shatner read them as such:
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2009/07/28/william-shatner-makes-pal_n_246034.html
[Reply]
arianna
Feb 1st, 2010
Kurt Loder has always been a douchebag! Even if it wasn’t on purpose, “casualty” has a double meaning in that sense and gives the line more depth. Casualness just sounds stupid. Also, this story reminds me of my fourth grade teacher who kept correcting my grammar in a line of poetry I wrote, but I stuck to my guns and I won. It helped that she thought I was a literary genius.
[Reply]
Ernie Reply:
February 2nd, 2010 at 10:03 am
Main Entry: ca·su·al·ty
Pronunciation: \ˈka-zhəl-tē, ˈkazh-wəl-, ˈka-zhə-wəl-\
Function: noun
Inflected Form(s): plural ca·su·al·ties
Date: 15th century
1 archaic : chance, fortune
2 : serious or fatal accident : disaster
3 a : a military person lost through death, wounds, injury, sickness, internment, or capture or through being missing in action b : a person or thing injured, lost, or destroyed : victim
[Reply]
Shelley
Mar 8th, 2011
Move units?
“Not have much going for them” is way too kind.
[Reply]
Luke Stromberg
Mar 8th, 2011
Years ago, I happened to be at the Schuylkill Mall while Jack Palance was doing a book signing for The Forest of Love at the Walden Books. He was, of course, awesome.
Some that you missed:
–Billy Corgan– Blinking with Fists
Wretched. The WCU Poetry House has this one in their collection.
–Jeff Tweedy– Adult Head
I had high hopes for this one…
–Michael Madsen- The Complete Poetic Works of Michael Madsen, Vol. 1: 1995-2005
Believe it or not, he’s written several books. Check out “Sufi Man”:
Sometimes when I drink too much vodka,
My whole life seems to have been
Like the dizzy dance of the Sufi.
I heard Cat Stevens was a Sufi.
Maybe I should listen to more of his music
Or maybe I shouldn’t drink so much vodka–
But I doubt if either of those things will happen.
[Reply]