Have orgies with some whores from Madagascar
In the backseat of a racecar, during NASCAR —
Skydive from Mars, and in that hour of glory
Read T.S. Eliot’s complete life story —
Wrastle a Grizzly bear, dressed up like Barney,
In a suit of armor, so the beast can’t harm me —
Kiss Catherine-Zeta…or no, wait

! Make love
(In the Eiffel Tower) to her, high above
The vasty fields of France! And afterwards,
Propose to her with a ring of pigeon turds,
Which has this strange engraving in its loop:
“I love you way more than I love to poop.”

And when she says, “Yes!” bungee from that spot
From a piece of string into the parking lot.