My dear brother, a scientist by day, gourmand by night, is forever on the lookout for peculiar new culinary developments for E-Verse Radio. It seems he has stumbled upon the “Luther Burger.” E-Verse warned people of this sinister development last year, when “Gateway Grizzlies baseball team of Sauget, Illinois began selling a donut-based burger under the name Baseball’s Best Burger.” It seems it has now gone mainstream, just in time for the Fourth of July weekend 2008. Sometimes described as “the greatest epicurean achievement in the history of man,” the Luther Burger (possibly named after Luther Vandross, who is said by some to have invented it), consists of a one pound hamburger patty, cheese, grilled onions, and five strips of bacon, between two Krispy Kreme donuts (in place of the traditional bun).

My little brother, who is nearly 7 feet tall and can bench-press two Smart Cars balanced on a steel beam, is pictured below. His daily caloric intake is typically 12,000 calories, so he could treat himself to one half of a Luther Burger in a single day.