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Breaking up a cyst using “Bible Bumps” with Atlas Shrugged (This Will Make More Sense in a Moment)

By Ernest Hilbert • September 9, 2010 • E-Verse

We’ll begin with Wikipedia’s explanation:

A ganglion cyst, also known as a bible cyst, is a swelling that often appears on or around joints and tendons in the hand or foot. The size of the cyst can vary over time. It is most frequently located around the dorsum of wrist and on the fingers. The term “Bible bump” comes from a common urban legend that treatment in the past consisted of hitting the cyst with a Bible or another large book.

The glamorous Manhattanite bibliophile Cynthia developed a small bible bump at the recent Baltimore Antiques Show. She came to our booth to complain of it, and a solution was proposed. Because I was not present, I will allow Mr. Ian Kahn of Lux Mentis to explain (video to follow):

Our friend Cynthia had a Ganglion Cyst on her wrist. As it was discussed by people at the Baltimore Antique and Book Fair, the home remedy of “whacking it with a heavy book” was proposed (the process is sometimes called a “bible bump“). While there were no bibles kicking about, there was a first edition copy of A. Rand’s, Atlas Shrugged (this the copy that has been previously mentioned for its obvious feline review (i.e. cat vomit staining to the front board)). The following video shows the proper and successful use of Atlas Shrugged in a medical procedure (Sunday Steinkirchner and Judith Dixon assisted).

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Thanks to Josh of B&B Books for the video.

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3 Comments

  • quizzicalbee@gmail.com'
    Reply Bethany September 9, 2010 at 7:40 pm

    I believe I recognize that copy! That’s the copy Judith has been trying to read for like 4 years, right? She brings it to Baltimore every year!

    I’d also like to point out that this is what happens when you don’t have national health insurance coverage, and that given Ayn Rand’s certain disapproval of national health insurance, I’m sure she would support this solution.

    • Reply Ernie September 10, 2010 at 9:50 am

      Yes, she only reads that copy of Atlas Shrugged once a year when bored at the Baltimore Antiques Fair. We read out passages to each other. We could not believe how turgid the prose is. I’ve never read Ayn Rand, but now I don’t believe I’m missing much.

  • slakeca41@yahoo.com'
    Reply Eric Howard September 10, 2010 at 7:41 pm

    In the 70s I danced the Bible Bump.

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Ernest Hilbert

Ernest Hilbert is founder of E-Verse Radio.

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