by Ernest Hilbert on 14/09/10 at 9:59 am
Think Canadians are just friendly people who talk funny, wear silly hats, and have strange holidays? That’s what they want you to think. They’re trying to lull you into a sense of complacency so they can strike! In reality, they’re our fiercest enemies, as you can see from this list of just the Top Five Wars between the U.S. and Canada.
5. The Revolutionary War, 1775-1783: The Canadians took the side of the evil British overlords!
4. The War of 1812, 1812-1815: Vicious Canadian militia stormed Washington with the British and burned down the White House! And not only that, but their enemy forces attacked New Orleans after the peace treaty was already signed!
3. The Aroostook War, 1838-1839: Our enemies to the North tried to claim that much of Maine was theirs, prompting U.S. patriots to have to fight for our land!
2. The Pig War, 1859: This notoriously bloody war concerned a border dispute regarding the San Juan Islands, improbably located not in Puerto Rico but between Microsoft’s headquarters in Redmond, WA, and Vancouver, that Canadian city where they film all the shows on the CW Network. The suffering of the pig was great, but he was delicious anyway.
1. The Oregon Boundary Dispute: A major border dispute, from which the slogan “54’40″ or Fight!” came, and that popularized the concept of “Manifest Destiny,” the war cry of those supporting U.S. claims of ownership of land all the way up to the 54th parallel.
Extra, War Plan Red: The U.S. Millitary created a plan to defend itself against the predations of the British Empire, including their lackeys to the north.