Top Five Wars Between the US and Canada

by on 14/09/10 at 9:59 am

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Think Canadians are just friendly people who talk funny, wear silly hats, and have strange holidays? That’s what they want you to think. They’re trying to lull you into a sense of complacency so they can strike! In reality, they’re our fiercest enemies, as you can see from this list of just the Top Five Wars between the U.S. and Canada.

5. The Revolutionary War, 1775-1783: The Canadians took the side of the evil British overlords!


4. The War of 1812, 1812-1815: Vicious Canadian militia stormed Washington with the British and burned down the White House! And not only that, but their enemy forces attacked New Orleans after the peace treaty was already signed!

3. The Aroostook War, 1838-1839: Our enemies to the North tried to claim that much of Maine was theirs, prompting U.S. patriots to have to fight for our land!

2. The Pig War, 1859: This notoriously bloody war concerned a border dispute regarding the San Juan Islands, improbably located not in Puerto Rico but between Microsoft’s headquarters in Redmond, WA, and Vancouver, that Canadian city where they film all the shows on the CW Network. The suffering of the pig was great, but he was delicious anyway.

1. The Oregon Boundary Dispute: A major border dispute, from which the slogan “54’40” or Fight!” came, and that popularized the concept of “Manifest Destiny,” the war cry of those supporting U.S. claims of ownership of land all the way up to the 54th parallel.

Extra,  War Plan Red: The U.S. Millitary created a plan to defend itself against the predations of the British Empire, including their lackeys to the north.

Ernest Hilbert

Ernest Hilbert is founder of E-Verse Radio.

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6 Responses to “Top Five Wars Between the US and Canada”

  1. Catherine Nicol

    Sep 16th, 2010

    Thanks for that.

    [Reply]

  2. Commander Chaos

    Jun 25th, 2012

    Do I look like a lackey? Calling Canadian’s lackey’s is akin to calling American’s uneducated traitors (one part of which is true). America likes to pretend it is the “land of the free” and lives even still in the daydream world of “manifest destiny” and the “American Dream”. Well because I am unamused with your false manipulation of history I’ll be the one to say it. All but one of those “wars” were started by the US which at its core is nothing but a war driven, fiscally bankrupt and uneducated wreck of its former self. Obesity rates are above 50%, the national debt is so large it does not fit on the “debt board” ($15,000,000,000,000+) and the oil wars have even less reason behind them than the falling dominoes joke during the Cold War. Just like all tyrants the US created its own worst enemies: China, the Taliban, Vietnam, Iraq and many more. I hope you “lackey’s” enjoy them.

    [Reply]

    Ernie Reply:

    Thank you for writing in with such original thoughts! You must have worked hard to come up with them.

    [Reply]

  3. Alex

    Jun 28th, 2012

    Commander Chaos brings up many valid points. As a Canadian, seeing text such as “evil British overlords” and “lackey’s” just goes to show disrespect. Firstly to generalize all Canadians as people who speak weirdly or wear odd looking headwear is wrong. I myself do not generalize all Americans as obese even though the statistics show that many are. The bottom line is Canadians and Americans are the same culturally. The only difference is the USA waged wars of independance against Britain, (which seperated British colonies) and Canada did not due to an already ideal situation geographically and economically. Also, the next time you post anything whatsoever about military history (of all types of history especially), please keep in mind that human beings were killed, nomatter what nation they descend from. Being ignorant to the brave men who died for their beliefs, their families, and their country is un-acceptable, whether it was meant as a joke or not.

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  4. David Wile

    Dec 19th, 2012

    HeEy folks,

    The “differences” between us “Americans” during the 18th and 19th centuries were certainly more significant to the two groups of Americans during those times. By the dawn of the 20th century, the earlier differences had largely been resolved in ways that encouraged the two groups of Americans to realize they had grown into what has become a very common ground.

    While the Americans of the United States had broken its bonds to England in one fell swoop of the Revolutionary War, the Americans of Canada seemed to “evolve” its bonds to England in their own way, and it has pretty much resulted in their own de facto independence from our “mother” country, England. In spite of the different roads the United Stated and Canada took in their splitting away from England, these two American nations have during this time also evolved a common bond between both nations. I woud also point out that both nations also have developed a new common bond with Mother England.

    In the past century, our three nations have been allies in much more than several wars. We may have and will continue to have individual interests that require resolution, but I would submit the two Americas and their Mother England today have far more in common than our English language. While I have never been to England and have only had limited contact with folks from England, I have never had a anything but a great experience when I have personally met them. I have visited Canada many times and met many Canadians in my country, and I have always enjoyed each experience. Quite frankly, I cannot help but think of Canadians as “the same as we.” I know Canadians are not the same as we, but it has always been so delightful to me I simply think we really are bonded by our cultures that have so much more in common than our past differences which we have pretty much overcome.

    I would prefer to ignore talk about lackeys or imperialism and similar ideas with the sole intent of disparaging others. When given the opportunity to meet and greet my Canadian and English cousins, I will opt to say, “Hello, how are you?” And I will be richer for the experience.

    Best wishes,
    Dave Wile

    [Reply]

  5. Steve

    Mar 15th, 2013

    As well as Pig War theer was also a Cod War in the 1980’s over Georges Bank. Gunfire was exchanged and international arbitration found both parties should have some of the bank. Although the war was between US and Canada the main casualties were the fish.

    [Reply]

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